Nish 18 yrs old
i believe in fairytales , Can i make a believer out of you ?

15th June 2014

Post

You’re not misunderstood , you’re a cunt

No one likes me , no one understands me , people talk shit, they don’t even know me.


NEWS FLASH- so many people can’t be wrong about you , so either you really rub people the wrong way , or , you’re actually a giant douche-bag and you should probably get a new personality or something

Tagged: assholeassfacehe played the victim card

15th June 2014

Post

HEALING

It’s not as bad now , the pain is a dull ache.

I still miss you , I still think about you.
But I’m smiling more , and laughing more than I was yesterday.
I’m mad at you , and i no longer blame myself.
I deserve better , I deserve someone who will fight for me , I wish it was you , but it isn’t , so I can’t force it.

Tagged: breakupoverhealingmendingchin-upmoving on

13th June 2014

Post with 8 notes

Don’t make promises you can’t keep

I’m hurt , this hurts ,
I want to talk to you , it hurts not talking to you , you were my favourite person to talk to, my feelings can’t switch off , but yours seem to have turned off like a light , wonderful , I’m the pathetic one , I’m the one who can’t get over her ex, but I’m not ashamed to have loved ; however I feel foolish to have bared my heart to someone who could so easily turn away and be ok.

There was a time you said “don’t hurt me , don’t leave me” and I said “I would never” , I would have kept my promise.
So many promises you made that I would have kept , I am a woman of my word , and all you’ve proven is you are not a man , you are still a boy, your love is still young , it’s still malleable , it’s not the type that can make promises and keep them.
Why did you make promises you couldn’t keep ? That’s not fair , I depended on you.

I want to say hi , I want to talk to you, I don’t want to let go , I can’t do this , you were my rock , I don’t think I’m strong enough.

Why did you promise me so much and then just leave me?

I love you , I love us

But I wish that I never met you
I wish there was never an us

Because then this pain wouldn’t be here , I could wake up happy , I can’t breathe at times , I constantly feel like I’m falling apart. I’m still so broken, still so hurt.

I still love you I haven’t changed , but you seem fine , you no longer seem to love me , it’s been 3 days , your love was not the kind that should have made those promises to me, because I’m the kind of girl that will believe it , That makes me far too easy to break.

I’m broken.

Tagged: don't make promises you can't keephurtheartacheheartbreakbreakuppainfeelingsdiary

12th June 2014

Post with 3 notes

Move on

How do I move on ? Everyone says move on … Just move on?

I can’t even stop crying how can I stop my entire self my heart from feeling these feelings.

I fell hard.

That saying jump and someone will catch you ? What happens when they drop you ?
How do you come back from that ? How do I get up again? I want to curl up into a ball and just cry , which Is what I’ve been doing , but then I leave my room and I have to smile , and I just can’t , and faking it is so exhausting.

I’m exhausted from my own feelings , I just want it all to go away ,
Don’t worry I’m not suicidal
I just hate feeling this way , I like being happy , but now I’m not , and it’s like before , and I don’t want that.

I can’t drink myself into oblivion I can’t runaway from my feelings so I’m stuck here feeling them , every gut wrenching ache , I want to scream.


I wish this never happened I want to wind back the hands of time.

Tagged: hurtmove onhow do I move onbreakupdiaryfeelingsI feel like shit

12th June 2014

Post with 2 notes

The feeling I have is ineffable , my stomach is lurching my heart is like an anchor , my mind is racing , my body is numb my cheeks hurt from forcing this smile , I’m so tired from crying , I don’t want to but I can’t help it , my emotions have a mind of their own.

When we were on the phone , I heard those words and I couldn’t breathe , the air rush out of me , and my face got hot my eyes stung , and I bit my lip I bit it till It bled ,don’t breathe don’t say a word don’t , just don’t , don’t let him know you’re crying , but I couldn’t , so I stopped and I pressed the red button , and I let my years flow like water from a dam , my heart shattered , I want to understand an I do , but I can’t accept it .
Fight for me , fight with me , wait with me , stick it out
Why won’t you ? why can’t you ?
The words I love have more weight than this ….. Where are you ?
And here i am my walls all down , vunerable , and alone , I’m scared , I hate being vunerable , I hate this feeling ,
Why won’t you find a way ? Am I not worth it?

What did I do wrong ?

I’m still crying it’s 4:00 am , nick is on the phone , consoling me while I whimper , i remebered 2 years ago , this isn’t as bad , but it hurts just the same.

Finally I’m asleep.

7 am I shower
And I’m crying again

My tears won’t stop

You said you’d never make me cry yet here I am
Now where are you?

This is why I don’t let people in.

Tagged: hurtbreakupcryingpainlove

29th May 2014

Photo reblogged from Perfection with 857 notes

lust4-love:

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lust4-love:

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16th May 2014

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16th May 2014

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16th May 2014

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16th May 2014

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